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Have you been in a situation, pattern or maybe thought- loop that you know are not working any more. Maybe it’s a deep unconscious vibe but it is there in your body, trying to nudge you to shift. But you won’t go there, you won’t surrender to it, for a trillion made up reasons. Some may feel valid some not. Causing you to stay stuck and repeat whatever it might be over and over, just dressed differently.
Looking back to when I started my inner journey in 2004 I have surrendered parts of myself many times. Each time thinking that was it, just for another part to show up, draw attention and say -Hey look over here, at this other old part still here isn't time to let it go.
In the beginning I wasn’t onboard with even the term or word - surrendering. It felt like I was losing something, a game of life that I was trying to control. But moving deeper and deeper into my hearts wisdom I started to realize that I’m not losing I’m winning when I surrender and let go of parts that are not me anymore. Parts that have their roots in my ego and old beliefs about myself, not my heart and soul.
One of the earlier more noticeable parts was going from partying and drinking quite a bit, to completely stop with the drinking (you still find me at parties here and there). After a few weeks of meditating in the Australian outback in 2010/2011 suddenly alcohol didn’t taste good at all. Like my whole body turned inside out just by the smell. So, I stopped, listened, and surrendered to my body.
I've never found it difficult to be social without it but it was and still is a very big part of socializing, and not a shift that went under the radar. Today over a decade after I am so happy that this happened and that I surrender to my bodies guidance instead of trying to push through old behaviors just because it was something I used to do and something my surroundings did.
I’m definitely not judging anybody that enjoys a drink, or several. It’s just not for me anymore. I’ve surrendered to my bodies wishes in that area.
Way to often we hold on to things, habits, thoughts, actions, reaction in life that doesn’t serve us any longer, if ever. We may do it on autopilot or with a false sense of having control in our day or of our day. Not knowing how the alternative would look like it can create all sorts of emotions to think about letting go. A big part of this is not trusting your intuition and hearts whispers. Maybe not even hearing or noticing it due to busy life or a fear to even go there.
Now when I hear the word surrender, I hear it with love and gratitude. I know that when I get nudged to release an old part of myself. A part that no longer mirrors who I am at heart, I gladly let it go. I may not always know how, why, or what will show up in its place, but I’ve learned to trust the nudge and go with it. So far it has made life fun, exciting and it moves with my purpose not against it.
This week the energy is here to help you let go of old parts of yourself, to make space for that beautiful soul and heart that wants to shine its light through you and out. To connect to your purpose and life force. It may feel strange and uncomfortable in some areas. If so, why not play with it instead of trying to control it. Go big, dream, ask yourself if it belongs to who you are today. Allow the answers to come from within. And if some parts feels sad to let go of but right, then allow the sadness to move through you and surrender with gratitude and love.
A first step is to become aware. Then the surrendering can come in your own pace. However together with the New Moon this midweek you’ll have a lovely companion to surrender and restart with.
On Saturday (11/5) I'm diving deeper into the subject of letting go of that unhealthy control. You can hear me at 2 pm CET on Insight Timer.
It’s free and it’s about 30-40 minutes.
If you are up for it, take this week to look at any old pattern that wants to leave and then let it. Surrender to yourself and makes space for a more joyful way of life.
I am me and that is who I am here to be!
Maria